self-love-Facebook-Likes

Self Love: Happiness Tied to Likes


How to win the morning, tame your triggers and helpful practices to help you improve your self-love.

I hate social media. 

The constant updates.  The need to know what someone you talked to once in high school is doing right now.  Seeing people bury their faces in phones rather than having actual conversations bothers me to no end. 

The main thing that bothers me is the increased need for outside approval.  The fact that there is more than one type of selfie is proof of that alone.  Elite Daily has an article on it. 

I know this makes me sound hypocritical because I am always on Facebook, Instagram and the Twitters – but if it were up to me, I’d get rid of them all.  The only reason I use it is because it’s just a cheap way to promote what I’m doing. 

Since I was spending an inordinate amount of time on Instagram, I found myself tying my self-worth to Likes and views rather than my own standard.  If a picture or post I put out doesn’t generate Likes/Comments/Shares it must mean I suck, right? 

Somehow I was following 1500+ people (no idea how it got that high) involved in the entrepreneur and fitness fields on Instagram.  I was constantly being bombarded with pictures of guys that were ripped, fancy houses, exotic vacations and people having a successful online business.  

I’d look at my situation and get down on myself because I didn’t have those things.  Over time it really started wearing on me.

My self-esteem was constantly under attack because I was judging myself by someone else’s standards.  My relationships struggled because I thought if I worked harder, my business would get better which would be the lead domino to living the life I want.  The only thing that did was burn me out faster and make my wife pissed.

So instead of keeping up with the beat down of my self-esteem, I chose to clean house.  I dropped my Instagram to 95 people.  Mostly friends, family and a very few fitness people and celebrities.  I dropped Twitter from 750+ to 124.  Apparently I had more self-control on Twitter than Instagram. 

After I did that, I actually somewhat enjoyed social media.  All the stuff I want and none of the self-hate.

I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way. 

HOW TO BE AWESOME AT SELF LOVE

So instead of listening to my bitch fest, I’d rather help you love yourself without tying it to Likes/Comments and Shares.  So I’ve complied a whole host of simple actionable items for you to do when you find yourself on the wrong side of your self-esteem. 

WIN THE MORNING, WIN THE DAY

Take Time for yourself

Take 20 minutes a day and do something for yourself.  Read, draw, exercise, write, mediate.  Anything that brings you happiness, do it.  Schedule time where you won’t get interrupted, like early morning or late at night.

Wakeup Positive

Make yourself smile when you first wake up.  Complement yourself on something you like about yourself or you accomplished the day before. 

TAME YOUR TRIGGERS

Learn Them

Self-awareness is key to figuring out what makes you feel sad.  Feeling like crap mentally?  More than likely the thing that just happened triggered it.  Don’t do that.  Hit yourself on the nose with a newspaper if that helps.

Trim Down Your Social Media Channels

If the only thing you gain from that person is questioning your self-worth then delete them.  Keep it to family/friends and a few famous people that you really love their work.  No one gets a prize for following the most people.

Stop Taking Shit

Some people will make you feel like shit, so avoid them.  They aren’t bringing anything positive to your life.  You’re still there because it’s comfortable.  Be uncomfortable.

PRACTICES

Put Yourself First

Do what you want for a change rather than just going with the flow.

Embrace Your Weirdness

We are all weird in some way.  Embrace it and use it to your advantage.

Forgive Yourself

There’s no point in beating yourself up for a past mistake.  Did you die?  If not, extract the lesson and move on. 

Tame the Inner Critic

That inner voice telling you to not do something is useless in today’s world.  Don’t let it win the argument unless one of the outcomes is death.  You can manage anything else.

You Are Your Only Competition

Don’t bother comparing yourself to others, it’s a losing battle.  Compare yourself to what you were yesterday.  Aim to be better today.

It’s Party Time

Celebrate the small victories no matter how small.  This is the key to changing habits and progressing at a person.

Get Out of the Comfort Zone

I know a guy that had a piece picked up by the Huffington Post about such a topic.  Here’s even a handy link so you can see said post.

Be Like Water

Change will not happen overnight.  It takes time, patience and persistence.  Just like a river carving out a canyon.  Deep shit I know.

Beauty is Subjective

Beauty comes in many different varieties.  Smarts, drive, aesthetics whatever it is – define it for yourself.  The is what Aesthetic Physiques is all about.

Eat Healthy

If you eat good, you look good.  If you look good, you perform good.  If you perform good, you get paid good. 

Mediate

Take time with your thoughts and just breath.  No stupid mantra needed.

Prove That Inner Voice Wrong

Do something that inner voice says you can’t.  Then tell it to go F itself right in the A.

Practice Gratitude

Tell someone today that you appreciate something specific about them.  By brightening their day, you’ll in-turn brighten yours.

Respect People

Treat people how you want to be treated not necessarily how you are feeling.

Be Grateful

Find something every day to be grateful for no matter how big or small.  There is always someone that would kill to have what you have. 

Write It Out

Get the bad and ugly crap out of your head and onto some paper.  Sounds juvenile but it actually helps.  Use actual paper and not a digital means.  Also, when you’re flying high, write down what is making you so happy.  You can use that later as a pick-me-up.

It’s Not All Rainbows and Unicorns

There will be highs and lows because that’s how life is.  Just focus on being better than yesterday.  Even Instagram celebrities have bad days.

Talk to Yourself as You Would Your Grandmother

Would you be constantly berating your grandmother?  Don’t do it to yourself.  If you answered yes btw, you are a monster.

 

Dave

 

Do you have any other tip, tricks or hacks to improve self-love or just the way you look at yourself?  Share them below.

If you know someone who could benefit from this article, please share it on Facebook or Twitter.  2 out of 3 people are obese today, let’s start a change.